hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
