I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize