i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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