did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
