nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
two words...techno handjob
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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