been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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