someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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