First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
