She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
