She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize