So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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