Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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