Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
