Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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