Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize