i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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