You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Is Oprah even human
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
