I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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