The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
