I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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