It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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