i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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