Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
