I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
