Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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