glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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