Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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