A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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