if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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