So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize