She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
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It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
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I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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