I think im going to throw up on grandma
you would pick up someone in the library
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
