I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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