the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
