he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
