she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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