hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
