I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
