omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I am one with the molecules
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
