"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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