Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize