and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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