It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
