Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
