I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
