You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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