Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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