alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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