To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
