I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Randomize
