I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
