Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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