Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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