I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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