Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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