this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
