where am i from again
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
