Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize