Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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