Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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