He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
